I know I'm big

So I had my first "rude pregnant" run-in this weekend and I must share.

This Sunday I was able to go to Wal-Mart sans kid and husband. It was glorious. No toddler reaching out for everything. No husband rushing you along the beauty aisle. I was completely free to spend as long as I wanted to, looking over all the completely useless sparkley mascara and medium-sized storage bins. So I spent my sweet, ol time and picked up some fun make-up that I haven't thought about buying since college. What the hell? I had a few extra dollars and the time.

Happily along I went, to the check out where a (what I thought looked like) nice post-middle aged woman was waiting just for me. I put all my items on the belt and she starts scanning. Looking at everything I'm buying, as if it's her business. First clue--she's nosey. But hey, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt--she's probably bored. I would find all the fun, random things interesting too if I was stuck at Wal-Mart on a Sunday evening. Second clue--she actually asks what the sparkely-colored tube of make-up was used for. "None of your business, lady" I wanted to say. But didn't. I explained that it was for your eyes, or for your face. Just something "special," I said.

Just as I was about to leave, the lady goes: "When are you due?" "May," I replied.

Her jawl drops and she goes "May??!" "Yes," I say. "What was the response for?" (I couldn't help it; I knew what she was thinking. May seems like an awfully long time away. My belly's awefully big.) "You're just really big," says nosey/politcally incorrect/rude lady. So I snap back: "Well you're just really rude."

And I walk away, feeling a sense of pride that I just put her in her place.

Listen, folks. Don't ever--under any circumstances--comment about the size of a pregnant woman. It wasn't that I was offended. I'm really over it, being my second pregnancy and all. I really just wanted to put her in her place.